question

What good is it to me,
if Mary gave birth
to the Son of God,
and I do not also give birth to him
in my time and
culture?

Meister Eckhart

seeking the pearl

Consider the story told by Timothy, a patriarch of the Nestorian church. Around 800, he engaged in a famous debate with the Muslim caliph in Baghdad, a discussion marked by reason and civility on both sides. Imagine, Timothy said, that we are all in a dark house, and someone throws a precious pearl in the midst of a pile of ordinary stones. Everyone scrabbles for the pearl, and some think they've found it, but nobody can be sure until day breaks.

In the same way, he said, the pearl of true faith and wisdom had fallen into the darkness of this transitory world; each faith believed that it alone had found the pearl. Yet all he could claim - and all the caliph could say in response - was that some faiths thought they had enough evidence to prove that they were indeed holding the real pearl, but the final truth would not be known in this world.

of dying, and living

This week my uncle died. His death has affected me far more than I would have expected, because I see echoes of my life in his. It is tragic to have to say that someone wasted their life, but in his case, it is the harsh truth. After a point in his life we could only see sadness, dependence in many forms, and wasted potential.

So where are the echoes? I see in myself a fear of fulfilling my potential, of living. I often find myself stuck in negative and self-destructive patterns of thinking, of feeling angry and blaming others. Of always finding excuses.

I don’t want to be him. I don’t want to look back at my life and see all the paths not taken.

Maybe then his life was not wasted, if it is pushing me to act, and to change.

May he rest in peace.